3 Simple Steps to Define Your Values

Miroo Kim
2 min readAug 14

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Have you ever felt lost in life? 😔
Not sure of why you are doing what you are doing and suddenly everything feels a bit meaningless? 😩
It’s time to define your values. 🤔

In all my professional training as a facilitator and a coach, one of the most impactful learning was identifying my values — qualities that are most meaningful in my life. We can live our life more intentionally when values are clear to us, because values help us discern and prioritize in each decision. One way of identifying values is through people we admire.

Who Do I Admire and Why?

I admire Anne of Green Gables (the lead character in the novel), Karen Blixen (the writer of Out of Africa), and H.H. Dalai Lama. I admire Anne because she stayed hopeful even in the most miserable situations with her unlimited imagination and deep love for life. I admire Karen Blixen because she lived “her” life, defining every step in her own ways, regardless of what others say. That gumption is so inspiring. And I admire H.H. Dalai Lama because of his joy and compassion; he’s been living in exile with many Tibetan people, after China invaded Tibet but he’s not living in hatred. Rather, he’s teaching the world how to meet all the suffering in our lives with compassion.

What Are My Values?

Qualities theses three people exude in common are insightful, creativity, resilience, gumption, positivity, love, humility, courage & compassion. Furthermore, I also see the “Self-Leadership” in the way they walked their paths with these values. They were able to guide themselves based on insights from their own life experiences. I resonate with these values so much now and would love to live my life accordingly.

Try It!

So if you aren’t sure what your values are, try this.

  • Think of three people you admire and see why you admire them. It doesn’t matter whether they are fictitious or real, dead or living, people you know or don’t know.
  • Write down qualities that these people share in common.
  • Voila! You got your values. And now check if your thoughts/actions reflect these values as you go.

Do it again every year because values can change over time, too. Try it and let me know what your values are!

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Miroo Kim

I teach how to be emotionally intelligent to live a life of wellbeing. I am curious about how to design wholehearted life for everyone.